Reviewer’s Name: Alesha Bingham Writer’s Name Cynthia King PEER EDITING/REVISION WORKSHEET FOR EXPOSITORY ENTRIESEntry Number: 5 Entry Title: HonestyEDITOR’S COMMENTS: 1. Statement explains the topic that the writer is going to discuss. YES Write the topic here. Honesty
2. Reason explains why the topic is important. YES 3. Example #1 shows why the statement and reason are correct. YES 4. Explanation #1 ties example #1 back to the statement and reason. YES How? Because she provides good details to back up what her main topic is.
5. Example #2 shows why the statement and reason are correct. YES 6. Explanation #2 ties example #2 back to the statement and reason. YES How? Because again she supports what she says in the text. She also provides good examples.
7. "What Difference Does it Make?" wraps up the entire entry byproviding a "big picture" view of why what writer said is important. YES 8. Writer uses vocabulary relevant to detective fiction. YES
9. I circled punctuation, mechanical, and structural errors. YES
10. I conferenced with the writer about his/her entry. NOReturn this form to the writer so that s/he can attach it to his/her rough drafts.WRITER’S COMMENTS: 1. The editor’s comments were helpful to me. YES NO2. I understood what the editor wanted me to do. YES NO3. I feel confident that I can make the necessary revisions. YES NO4. At my next conference with the teacher, I need to discuss or ask about the following:
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Rasin in the Sun pt. 2
How do power and authority change hands over the course of the play?
The power of authority changed in the play greatly. I think it first stated out with Walter and as time went on you could see that Mama is still the head of the family. Through out this play I think the power just juggles between the two of them and it seems like Walter is trying to be in control of the family. He wants to be the one to provide for them and to bring in a whole lot of money. Mama wants to keep everyone happy but at the same time make sure that Walter doesn’t lose his head and get out of control. She just wants the best for everyone.
Discuss how minor characters such as George Murchison, Willy Harris, and Mr. Lindner represent the ideas against which the main characters react.
These three men represent ideas that are different and sort of the same than the keratin characters they have interactions with. George Murchison is sort of upper-class and he basically has a certain idea of how his life should be so he has the same idea for the woman he dates and in this case that is Beneatha. Beneatha is an individual kind of woman and she has her own ideas about life and what she wants to do. Willy Harris has the same ideas as Walter they think on the same page and that’s why Walter hangs around with him a lot. These two want to help one another achieve and they want to make money and live a better life style than they do now. Mr. Lindner’s idea is the opposites of all the main characters because he basically is trying to keep the Younger’s from moving to Clybourne Park.
What sort of statement does Hansberry seem to be making about race? Does she make more than one statement? If so, do these statements conflict with each other?
The statement I interpret that she makes about race is that it is sort of everything in the society that we live in back then or today. No, I don’t believe she make more than one statement.
The power of authority changed in the play greatly. I think it first stated out with Walter and as time went on you could see that Mama is still the head of the family. Through out this play I think the power just juggles between the two of them and it seems like Walter is trying to be in control of the family. He wants to be the one to provide for them and to bring in a whole lot of money. Mama wants to keep everyone happy but at the same time make sure that Walter doesn’t lose his head and get out of control. She just wants the best for everyone.
Discuss how minor characters such as George Murchison, Willy Harris, and Mr. Lindner represent the ideas against which the main characters react.
These three men represent ideas that are different and sort of the same than the keratin characters they have interactions with. George Murchison is sort of upper-class and he basically has a certain idea of how his life should be so he has the same idea for the woman he dates and in this case that is Beneatha. Beneatha is an individual kind of woman and she has her own ideas about life and what she wants to do. Willy Harris has the same ideas as Walter they think on the same page and that’s why Walter hangs around with him a lot. These two want to help one another achieve and they want to make money and live a better life style than they do now. Mr. Lindner’s idea is the opposites of all the main characters because he basically is trying to keep the Younger’s from moving to Clybourne Park.
What sort of statement does Hansberry seem to be making about race? Does she make more than one statement? If so, do these statements conflict with each other?
The statement I interpret that she makes about race is that it is sort of everything in the society that we live in back then or today. No, I don’t believe she make more than one statement.
Rasin in the Sun pt. 1
How does the idea of assimilationism become important?
First I will start off by explaining what assimilation means, it is the process of receiving new facts or of responding to new situations in conformity with what is already available to consciousness. The way that becomes important in the play is that at some point in their life there will be a big change like when they received the insurance check. Another example of how assimilation becomes important is that there are people who are trying to get the family to move out there neighborhood. So in this play there is a lot of change that is about to occur and overall it will affect the life of everyone in the family.
Discuss the title of the play. How does it relate to the dreams of each of the characters?
Raisin in the Sun to me the title is sort of opposite and confusing because nothing can happen to a raisin in the sun because it has already went through the process of becoming a raisin. A raisin always starts out as a grape and if you leave it in the sun it will dry up and become a raisin so it will always come down to nothing happens to a raisin in the sun.
Think about the role of money in the play. How does it affect different characters?
Money in the play is very important to certain characters. Ruth Younger just thinks that Mama can do whatever she wants with the money because it is hers but I think she would also like to use the money to move out of the place they live in and live in a bigger and better house. Walter Younger wants to use that money to start a business so he can provide more for his family so money is very important to Walter. Mama is sort of excited about the money and sort of not she overall just wants to use the money to make everyone happy. I don’t think the money affects Beneatha’s dream at all but it would play a very important role with helping her with school and it may help her get close to her dream
First I will start off by explaining what assimilation means, it is the process of receiving new facts or of responding to new situations in conformity with what is already available to consciousness. The way that becomes important in the play is that at some point in their life there will be a big change like when they received the insurance check. Another example of how assimilation becomes important is that there are people who are trying to get the family to move out there neighborhood. So in this play there is a lot of change that is about to occur and overall it will affect the life of everyone in the family.
Discuss the title of the play. How does it relate to the dreams of each of the characters?
Raisin in the Sun to me the title is sort of opposite and confusing because nothing can happen to a raisin in the sun because it has already went through the process of becoming a raisin. A raisin always starts out as a grape and if you leave it in the sun it will dry up and become a raisin so it will always come down to nothing happens to a raisin in the sun.
Think about the role of money in the play. How does it affect different characters?
Money in the play is very important to certain characters. Ruth Younger just thinks that Mama can do whatever she wants with the money because it is hers but I think she would also like to use the money to move out of the place they live in and live in a bigger and better house. Walter Younger wants to use that money to start a business so he can provide more for his family so money is very important to Walter. Mama is sort of excited about the money and sort of not she overall just wants to use the money to make everyone happy. I don’t think the money affects Beneatha’s dream at all but it would play a very important role with helping her with school and it may help her get close to her dream
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Presentations Analysis
Today I sat and watched 3 of my peers do their presentation for math and English. The three people that presented today were Jasmine Bluford, Dwayne McCutchin along with Hasan Bey and Maurice Bradford who was supposed to present with Lazetta Dunlap. In this essay I will critique their individual projects and tell you my personal thoughts on each one. Each project I critique will be based upon a rubric that goes from 1 to 5 in different levels.
The first project I saw was by Jasmine Bluford who has a hairstyling business called Blossom. First I think the name she chose was very cute and creative and I like the originality of it. Her website she did was very well and it had enough detail to sale the project but I do think that she could have had some pictures of the different hairstyles that she is able to do. Jasmine’s actual presentation when she was talking about her project she needed to speak up a little more and she didn’t seem like she was very confident in her service. I think she had a little difficultly answering the questions and that comes back to not being confident about your product/ service. Overall Jasmine did a pretty good job and if she just becomes more confident about her service then I think her business could really go far.
The second presentation I saw was by Maurice Bradford and Lazetta Dunlap who has a restaurant business called The World. First off I love the name because it really relates to the concept of the restaurant which was serving food from different countries. Even though his partner Lazetta was not there to support him and help the presentation I think he did a good job. He seemed very confident when presenting and his website really had just the right amount of information talking about the business. Maurice’s overall stance in presenting to the audience was good he was able to answer the questions really well and I think the audience was really able to grasp the concept of the business.
The third and final presentation was by Dwayne McCutchin and Hasan Bey who had a business where they built websites for other people unfortunately I was not able to catch the name of the business but I’m sure it was very good. The first thing is the overall website I think it was good that they had a lot of details on their and they also had some examples of the websites they have built. I think they were very confident and sure of their service and they were able to fully explain their business. The prices they set per paragraph were overboard I think it is too much to charge five dollars per paragraph when someone could go somewhere else and get it cheaper. Overall they did a good job and if they keep going with the business it could really go far.
Finally I will close by saying that today’s presentations were good overall and if everybody would take the critiques posted myself and others they could really go far with their businesses. The project I personally think was the best was Maurice’s and the project name I like the best today was Jasmine’s but the project that I think would bring in the most income would be Dwayne’s and Hasan’s . If everyone just takes these critiques in mind then I’m sure they will be rolling in money in no time. Everyone has dreams that can come to life.
The first project I saw was by Jasmine Bluford who has a hairstyling business called Blossom. First I think the name she chose was very cute and creative and I like the originality of it. Her website she did was very well and it had enough detail to sale the project but I do think that she could have had some pictures of the different hairstyles that she is able to do. Jasmine’s actual presentation when she was talking about her project she needed to speak up a little more and she didn’t seem like she was very confident in her service. I think she had a little difficultly answering the questions and that comes back to not being confident about your product/ service. Overall Jasmine did a pretty good job and if she just becomes more confident about her service then I think her business could really go far.
The second presentation I saw was by Maurice Bradford and Lazetta Dunlap who has a restaurant business called The World. First off I love the name because it really relates to the concept of the restaurant which was serving food from different countries. Even though his partner Lazetta was not there to support him and help the presentation I think he did a good job. He seemed very confident when presenting and his website really had just the right amount of information talking about the business. Maurice’s overall stance in presenting to the audience was good he was able to answer the questions really well and I think the audience was really able to grasp the concept of the business.
The third and final presentation was by Dwayne McCutchin and Hasan Bey who had a business where they built websites for other people unfortunately I was not able to catch the name of the business but I’m sure it was very good. The first thing is the overall website I think it was good that they had a lot of details on their and they also had some examples of the websites they have built. I think they were very confident and sure of their service and they were able to fully explain their business. The prices they set per paragraph were overboard I think it is too much to charge five dollars per paragraph when someone could go somewhere else and get it cheaper. Overall they did a good job and if they keep going with the business it could really go far.
Finally I will close by saying that today’s presentations were good overall and if everybody would take the critiques posted myself and others they could really go far with their businesses. The project I personally think was the best was Maurice’s and the project name I like the best today was Jasmine’s but the project that I think would bring in the most income would be Dwayne’s and Hasan’s . If everyone just takes these critiques in mind then I’m sure they will be rolling in money in no time. Everyone has dreams that can come to life.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Honesty
Honesty is a very essential part of living. To tell lies and to steal is just the most stupid thing to do. My personal definition of honesty is not to tell lies. Now, there are also other ways to be honest like not stealing something whether it’s someone’s idea or product. Is it really worth it to lie? When lies occur people have the tendency to get their feeling hurt.
'Do not lie' that is the saying I live by everyday, and that is what my mother has always taught me. No matter what happens and no matter the scenario is you should always tell the truth. If you lie then you are more likely to get in trouble when somebody finds out the lie. If you tell the truth the consequences (if you have done anything bad) won't be as brutal then if you tell a lie. I will always know that honesty is better then a lie any day and honesty really cleanses the soul.
To steal is one of the most low down and dirty things to do. It never matters what you steal because it always will belong to someone else. You never know what that person may have used that certain item for or (if its money) what they were going to buy. Stealing someone’s idea is just as bad because that means you are willing to take credit for what someone else has put hard work into doing. Stealing has not and will not ever be the answer any type of problem you may have.
When someone is not being truthful it could really hurt someone Else's feelings. Lying about something and someone can have very grave consequences for someone else. Even if you didn't mean to hurt another person you always will. Telling the truth and not taking credit for others work always works out in the end for you and that person. It is never worth it to lie especially for something that may have been dumb and meaning less and is not worth getting in trouble over.
I will conclude this essay by saying, that no matter what you did or didn't do always tell the truth. If you failed to complete a certain assignment tell your teacher don't copy from someone else and take credit for their work. Of course it always seems that lying is so much easier then telling the truth but the consequences is never good. You should always be honest about something because lying doesn't make you seem cool or gets rid of your problems it just makes everything worse. So is it better to lie or be honest? Because I personally will always tell the truth and feel good about it.
'Do not lie' that is the saying I live by everyday, and that is what my mother has always taught me. No matter what happens and no matter the scenario is you should always tell the truth. If you lie then you are more likely to get in trouble when somebody finds out the lie. If you tell the truth the consequences (if you have done anything bad) won't be as brutal then if you tell a lie. I will always know that honesty is better then a lie any day and honesty really cleanses the soul.
To steal is one of the most low down and dirty things to do. It never matters what you steal because it always will belong to someone else. You never know what that person may have used that certain item for or (if its money) what they were going to buy. Stealing someone’s idea is just as bad because that means you are willing to take credit for what someone else has put hard work into doing. Stealing has not and will not ever be the answer any type of problem you may have.
When someone is not being truthful it could really hurt someone Else's feelings. Lying about something and someone can have very grave consequences for someone else. Even if you didn't mean to hurt another person you always will. Telling the truth and not taking credit for others work always works out in the end for you and that person. It is never worth it to lie especially for something that may have been dumb and meaning less and is not worth getting in trouble over.
I will conclude this essay by saying, that no matter what you did or didn't do always tell the truth. If you failed to complete a certain assignment tell your teacher don't copy from someone else and take credit for their work. Of course it always seems that lying is so much easier then telling the truth but the consequences is never good. You should always be honest about something because lying doesn't make you seem cool or gets rid of your problems it just makes everything worse. So is it better to lie or be honest? Because I personally will always tell the truth and feel good about it.
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